Hi Everyone! I couldn’t believe when I opened my email and saw that my last blog post was TWO YEARS ago. In that time I have graduated my Master’s program, had my daughter, took a year off to be with her and began working at a new agency where I am officially an outpatient therapist (goodbye “intern” title!)
I had no idea how huge the change would be from intern to THERAPIST; foolishly I thought, “Hey, I was working full time hours between my job and internship, how much different could it be?” VERY different. For one, let’s talk caseload. I remember as an intern thinking I had a decent caseload with all TEN of my individual clients and a couple of groups. Now, with a caseload over 6 times that amount and a number of groups, I look back on my intern self and can’t help but laugh.
However, something that I was surprised about was the change (or should I say lack of change) that I felt in myself. During the first few months, I thought I had to bring every question to my supervisor as I was so accustomed to doing so as an intern. I remember going to my supervisor to discuss terminating a client and them saying to me, “Of course you may, you don’t need my permission”.
RIGHT. I’m a professional now.
This got me thinking. Why didn’t I believe in my own abilities yet? I had the same educational background as my peers. I had a couple years in the field through internship and work, yet here I was, ACTING like a professional, but feeling like I was just playing make believe. It’s taken a few months of working to finally begin to feel like I am not posing as a therapist, rather that I am one that is practicing.
There’s always more to learn, but it’s important for us to be confident in ourselves with what we do know and to be OK with asking about all of those things that we don’t know quite yet.